Parallel Universe, Parallel Emotions
by Sophie Temrer Rimmer-Artley
Summary: Two Rimmers, two Listers. All equally unaware of feelings the others have buried deep inside them... RxL


**AN: This ficlet came to me while I watched 'Parallel Universe' (Red Dwarf II). Enjoy!**

"C'mon, what are ya, a man or a munchkin?" Lister teased Rimmer.

"I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz." Rimmer sang, before sneaking along the back of the disco and out of the door. He ran into something and looked up in horror. Sure enough, Arlene was staring back at him.

"I've been looking for you." she grinned. "We need to talk." She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the nearest room, letting the door slide shut.

"What do you want from me?" Rimmer's voice was barely a squeak.

"How long have you known?" she asked.

"Known... what?" Rimmer queried.

"That you're in love with Lister. Your Lister, I mean."

"Er, come again?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Arn. I am you, remember?" Arlene snapped. "How long have you known?"

Rimmer sighed in defeat. The game was up. He may as well admit it.

"Since... since we met Lister's confidence and paranoia. Those two sides of me have been having a constant argument from that day forward over whether I should confess all to him or not."

"I love my Lister too." Arlene explained. "That's how I knew. I could see it in the way you looked at him having a good time with Deb, because it's the same way I was looking at her. Wishing I was the one letting loose and having fun."

"I know. I can't explain it, it's like I _want _to be slobbish just to get him to notice me." Rimmer sighed.

"Never change. You should never change yourself for anyone." Arlene said abruptly. "Chances are, if you change for him, he'll say he preferred you the way you were."

"I suppose so." Rimmer said. "But how do I _tell _him?"

"I don't know the answer to that one. If I did I'd have told Deb ages ago." Arlene said despondently, flopping into a chair. "It's just so damn hard to tell someone who thinks you hate them that you're really nuts about them."

"Mmm." Rimmer said noncommittally. Suddenly, Arlene stood up again.

"I've got it!" she said. "Follow me."

"Where are we?" Rimmer asked her a few minutes and several floors later.  
"Hologram maintenance suite." Arlene replied. "It's a lot more practical to tell them how we feel if we're actually able to touch them."

"But is that possible?"

"I think it is. I've heard on an old ship's video log about something called a 'hard-light' light bee. It makes a hologram able to touch things, to eat, to be a normal human, with the added bonus of making them almost indestructible."

"Incredible." Rimmer murmured. "Do you have any on board?"

"I reckon we must do. Help me look. You can touch most of this stuff, it's predominantly hologrammatic anyway. We're looking for something like our light bees." Arlene said. The two of them set about rummaging through the piles of stuff in the room. After about ten minutes, Rimmer gave a cry of triumph and held up two light bees labelled 'Hard-Light Series One Hologram Light Bee'.

"Bingo!" he said with an enormous grin. "Got the little blighters!"

"Brilliant!" Arlene said, hugging Rimmer tightly before taking one light bee for herself. "Hilly?"

"What's up Arlene?" Hilly said.

"Can you key me and Arnold here into these hard-light light bees, and make sure Arnie can take his back to his own Red Dwarf?"

"Course I can. Gimme a sec."

A moment later, Arlene disappeared and reappeared, looking much the same as before.

"Did it work?" Rimmer asked her. She reached out and touched the wall.

"Amazing!" she laughed. Then Rimmer disappeared and reappeared, just as she had done. "Well?" she asked him. He too, like she had, touched the wall with the palm of his hand.

"Fan-smegging-tastic!" he cheered. The two now hard-light holograms exchanged an enthusiastic high-five.

"Now. Time for the ultimate test." Arlene said. "Let's go find our Listers and confess how we really feel."

Rimmer swallowed. "OK."

"Psst, Listy." Rimmer hissed from the door of the disco. Lister looked up and saw Rimmer's head popping out from around the door frame.

"Looks like he wants to tell ya something." Deb said. "Go see what he wants."

"All right. I'll be back in a bit." Lister grinned, wobbling his way over to Rimmer. He saw Arlene walk past him and watched her sit by Deb before turning back to Rimmer.

"Lister, you're absolutely hammered." Rimmer sighed.

"What do ya want?" Lister asked.

Rimmer swallowed again. "You."

"Me? Me what?"

"How simply can I put this?" Rimmer said exasperatedly, before suddenly becoming shy again. "I want you, Lister. I love you." he whispered.

The silence between them seemed to envelope the pair, trapping them in their own little bubble. Lister opened his mouth to say something.

"Ah, don't say anything Listy." Rimmer interrupted him. "Just..." he reached out and took Lister's face in his hands. "...feel."

"Smeg... Is this real?" Lister said. "Or am I dreaming?"

"Does a dream do this?" Rimmer said, pressing his lips softly against Lister's before pulling back.

"Well, it has before." Lister shrugged. "And then some."

"Really?" Rimmer asked hopefully.

"_Really_." Lister replied.

"Oh Listy!" Rimmer practically squealed, flinging his arms around the shorter man and hugging him.

"Seriously, is this real life?" Lister asked again.

"Is this just fantasy?" Rimmer smirked.  
"Caught in a landslide."

"No escape from reality."

"Stop! Enough with Bohemian Rhapsody, just answer my smegging question!" Lister laughed.

"You're not dreaming. I'm a 'hard-light' hologram now. I can touch, feel, eat, everything, and I'm indestructible too." Rimmer explained.

"Well it's all right for some!" Lister smiled, affectionately bumping foreheads with Rimmer. "So, we've got a few more hours before Holly fixes the Hop Drive. What do you wanna do?"

"I've got an idea." Rimmer said, smiling back at Lister. Lister suddenly looked a little nervous. "Unless you don't want to..."

"No, that's not it, I definitely want to." Lister said hurriedly. "It's just... I've never done that with a guy before."

"Neither have I, Listy. But there's a first time for everything." Rimmer grinned.

Lister grinned back. "I love you, you big smeghead."

"I love you too, gimboid." Rimmer laughed.

The next morning, a severely hung over Lister and an immensely happy Rimmer woke up beside each other in bed on what looked like their Red Dwarf, but then they remembered where they really were.

"Lister?" Rimmer whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Yep." came the reply from Lister.

"Please tell me you can remember last night?" Rimmer said pleadingly.

"Course I can, smeghead. I'm not gonna forget something as incredible as that, am I?"

Rimmer blushed. "Thanks."

Just then, Arlene and Deb walked in, arms around each other and looking rather bedraggled.

"Worked out, then." Arlene said to Rimmer.

"Indeedy. Looks like it did for you two as well." Rimmer replied.

"Absolument."

"Thanks Arlene."

"No worries Arn."

"Whoa whoa whoa hey. Back up. You knew?" Deb said, pointing at Rimmer.

"We went to look for the light bees. Arnie here found them." Arlene said.

"It was nothing really." Rimmer said airily.

"Thanks man!" Deb said cheerfully. "Nice one!"

"Don't mention it."

"Anyway, Holly and Hilly have fixed the Hop Drive." Arlene told them. "You can go home now."

"Cheers." Lister grinned, starting to get up, then remembering he was naked and falling back into the bunk. "You wouldn't mind leaving us alone for a few minutes, would you ladies?" Rimmer asked them.

"It's nothing we haven't seen before, but all right." Deb said, and she left the room with Arlene.

"Right, let's get going then." Rimmer said, and the pair hauled themselves out of bed and got dressed. When they were ready, they headed for the airlock along with Cat, who had run away from the Dog at the first chance he got and had been sleeping in a broom cupboard to avoid detection. As Lister and Rimmer said their goodbyes to Arlene and Deb, Cat waited in the airlock impatiently.

"Thanks again Arlene." Rimmer said. "I couldn't have done it without your help."

"Thank you too. And sorry about trying to hit on you. I was... I don't know what I was." Arlene sighed.

"Drunk?" Rimmer suggested. The male and female Rimmers laughed together and saluted each other formally before exchanging a brief hug.

"See ya round Dave." Deb smiled, slapping Lister's hand in a high five and hugging him. Lister hugged her back before backing up and opening the airlock.

"Bye girls." Lister said, and he stepped into the airlock, followed by Rimmer.

"Finally!" Cat said.

"Hang on a sec chaps!" Holly's tinny voice sounded from Lister's watch. Lister lifted his arm and looked at the face of the watch. An emotional Hilly was still there, and the three of them saw computer-generated tears running down her face.

"Don't leave me Holly!" Hilly sobbed.

"Sorry girl, that's just the way it goes. Dry those eyes, or you'll set me off" Holly said sadly. "I'll never forget you."

"And I'll never forget you."

"I guess it's goodbye then."

"Goodbye. I'll miss you, Hol." Hilly sniffed.

"And I'll miss you, Hil." Holly told her.

Lister, Rimmer and Cat watched in fascination and slight horror as Holly leaned over and kissed Hilly.

"OK, that is not what I want to see at this time of the morning!" Cat said, covering his eyes.

"Hol, can we go now?" Lister said pointedly. Hilly and Holly broke apart.

"Gordon Bennett, can't a computer get any privacy around here?" Holly sighed. "Keep your hair on, Dave. Bye Hilly."

"Bye Holly."

Hilly disappeared from the face of the watch.

"About smegging time." Rimmer said in exasperation. "Let's get back home."

About ten minutes later, Rimmer and Lister practically ran into their sleeping quarters. The door slid shut behind them, and, with a command from Lister, locked. The two of them collapsed into Rimmer's bunk and started to kiss deeply and passionately. When they broke apart for breath, they were both already hard.

"Rimmer..." Lister managed to gasp.

"Yes Listy?"

"It's my turn."

Rimmer frowned momentarily, then realisation dawned and he laughed. "OK then."

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle... at first." Lister whispered, making Rimmer moan.

And Lister was true to his word...

**How was it? Let me know! Review please!**


End file.
